Find Time For Yourself

We all live busy lives, some busier than others. In this hectic modern world, it is essential to find time for yourself. 

For the last two weeks, I have had an extremely tight schedule. My time is spread between being on call, my regular work, the gym, my girlfriend, and various obligations at home. Even with that, I was trying to write a blog post or two and edit at least a portion of my next YouTube video. 

I noticed how my productivity and mood quickly plummeted as I tried to keep up with this schedule. I was delighted with my work and progress, don’t get me wrong, but I could sense that a schedule like this cannot be sustained for a long time.  Instead of pushing myself even further and risking possible burnout, I simply decided to play a video game called “Slay the Spire”. In case you’re not familiar with the game, it’s a roguelike, deck-building game with varying modes of difficulty. I stumbled upon this game on TikTok after I hadn’t played it for almost a year. 

In a matter of minutes, I was consumed by the complexity of the game, and I spent a few hours playing it. Immediately after, I felt a lot better, and even the impossible tasks I planned were far more bearable once I relaxed for a bit. 

For the last year, I struggled to find some kind of balance between work and leisure since I had a terrible habit of overworking myself to the point of exhaustion and burnout. 

I read books and watched podcasts on this topic, but couldn’t implement any useful advice. Every few weeks, I would work so much and end up without any will to continue working. I noticed a pattern of my burnout: when I feel like I don’t want to do something like work, write, etc. I would try to force myself to do it regardless. If I still cannot do it, then I try to rest for a bit before continuing to do it. If, after resting, I still cannot make myself do any productive work, I happily play video games for the rest of the day. This simple mindset change helped me prevent real burnout, and I could stay somewhat productive for the rest of the week. 

Real Burnout vs Pseudo-Burnout

Real burnout is an extremely tough place to find yourself in. As opposed to fake or pseudo-burnout, once you reach the state of real burnout, you will no longer feel any pleasure, even from usually pleasurable activities. Pseudo-burnout is characterized by a loss of purpose and pleasure from work and work-related hobbies, while in real burnout, you feel no pleasure whatsoever.

In pseudo-burnout, you can still be engaged and enjoy various activities, especially those that bring you cheap dopamine hits like scrolling on social media, watching porn, and so on. Real burnout feels like a watered-down depressive episode in which nothing pleases you except for sleep, which offers you an escape from reality. This escape is the key we need to understand and to tackle these problems.

People like a good escape from reality.

Video games, movies, and porn all provide an escape from our lives. 

I am not against any of it as long as you have your life under control and in order. If you use the media to escape your everyday obligations, you will certainly find yourself in deep depression quicker than you think. If I tell you to imagine a depressed person, you won’t imagine someone who had a hard life with a lot of struggles, because if that person has overcome them, he has probably gotten even tougher than before. You will imagine, most likely, a man (coincidence?) who spends his days in a dark room in his parents' house, playing video games, masturbating, and avoiding his obligations. 

I would advise anyone to work as hard as they can, and when they feel tired, I would advise them to work some more. Once they are certain that they have worked to the full of their capacity, I would tell them to take a day off and find some time for themselves. 

If you are like me and frequently find yourself working basically all of the time, I would advise you to find something that will refresh you during a hectic week.

I found out that I like to give my 100 percent to anything I do. If I’m playing chess, for example, I try to watch as many videos on chess as I can find, play as many games as I can, and solve chess puzzles in between. Suddenly, the weeks go by without me even noticing. This type of involvement in any activity can be a double-edged sword: you get better at a certain skill, but after some time, you get too involved in that thing, so you neglect other parts of your life. A simple hobby that was supposed to relax me suddenly became another stressful obligation that I must grind until I’m sick of it. There is almost nothing that can hook me more than watching my chess ELO go up, so I figured that if I want to play chess, I would play it with the rating system turned off. If you are like me, don’t get too attached to hobbies because they won’t be hobbies anymore.

Similarly, if you’re trying to succeed in a certain field, you must pour countless upon countless hours into it. You cannot be the best at everything, and that is a fact. I would suggest to anyone to work on one great thing in their life, and to have as many hobbies as they like. 

One great thing will take up all of your time, money, and energy. Pour blood, sweat, and tears into that one thing in order to turn that thing into something really great and meaningful.

In order not to despise that thing (and your life), try out something different from time to time. Whether it’s video games, chess, sports, or anything else, as long as they remain simple hobbies, and nothing more. These things must be used only as a fuel for yourself and the great thing you’re working on.

Summary: 

In today’s busy world, I’ve learned that it’s crucial to carve out personal time to prevent burnout. Recently, my schedule was packed: juggling work, fitness, relationships, content creation, and home duties, which led to a noticeable drop in my mood and productivity. Rather than pushing myself further, I decided to take a break by playing a video game. Almost immediately, I felt re-energized, and even my overwhelming tasks seemed more manageable. I’ve realized there’s a difference between real burnout and pseudo-burnout. Real burnout is a deep, depressive state where nothing brings pleasure, while pseudo-burnout mostly affects work-related activities, but I can still enjoy simple distractions like video games or social media. To avoid burnout, I now make a conscious effort to balance hard work with small, refreshing breaks whether through hobbies, games, or other activities, as long as they don’t turn into yet another obligation.