How to talk to your doctor

In my previous blog post, I addressed the problem of the doctor-patient relationship, and I gave some advice to all the doctors out there. In this article, I will provide equally valuable information for the patients. 

While I worked in family medicine, I saw a lot of people with different personalities and backgrounds. Some were educated, some were not, some were wealthy, and some barely made ends meet.

I talked to shy people and those who were more on the assertive side.

Family medicine allowed me to master the art of communication with all sorts of people. 

I learned how to encourage shy people to speak up about their condition, but also how to interrupt a patient when they go off the tracks.

Before I became a doctor, I always wondered why some doctors interrupt patients when talking to them. I learned in medical school that the most important part of a medical exam is carefully listening to the patient and trying to comprehend their perspective of a possible condition they might have. I thought that most of the time, the patient would tell us clear signs and symptoms, making our job much easier. In practice, this is rarely the case.

Most patients will start talking about all sorts of symptoms when they enter the doctor’s office.

They will begin with symptoms they have now and go backward in time. In the middle of this, they will remember a bunch of different symptoms that they had, mixed with symptoms from their relatives. 

With many patients having access to the internet, it is not a rare occurrence for patients to suddenly find all sorts of other symptoms that they do not have (nocebo effect is real!). 

While it is important to pay close attention to all the symptoms the patient complains of, it is of utmost importance to be able to divide important from non-important information.

Your doctor can be rude and interruptive, but sometimes it is for a good cause. I’m not saying you should tolerate every negative and impolite manner from your doctor, but I suggest you be open-minded when talking to your physician. This is especially the case if you see a crowded waiting room and your doctor working under immense pressure.

Unlike what my medical school taught me, many doctors are trained to only listen to important information and ignore the rest. This way, they can make an accurate diagnosis without losing precious time.

With that said, here are some tips to help you get the most out of your doctor’s visit:

1. Be Prepared and Concise

Before your appointment, take a few minutes to think about your main concern. Try to organize your symptoms chronologically: when they started, how they’ve changed, and what makes them better or worse. Bringing a short written note can help if you tend to forget things when nervous.

2. Don’t Hold Back Important Details

If something feels embarrassing or unrelated, mention it anyway. Doctors aren’t there to judge—they’re there to help. Sometimes, a symptom that seems minor to you could be a vital clue.

3. Avoid Over-Googling

Yes, some online medical information is helpful, but don’t overwhelm yourself (or your doctor) with dozens of diagnoses you've found online. It’s okay to share what you’re worried about, but be open to your doctor’s perspective.

4. Trust the Process

Let your doctor guide the conversation. They are trained to filter through the noise and focus on what matters. If they interrupt you, it’s likely to steer the conversation toward something clinically relevant, not because they’re ignoring you.

5. Ask Questions

Never leave the office confused. If something doesn’t make sense, ask your doctor to explain. Most of us want our patients to understand their condition and the treatment plan. You deserve clarity.

6. Be Honest About Habits and History

Lying or withholding information about things like smoking, alcohol, drug use, or sexual activity only makes it harder to help you. Doctors need the truth, not perfection.

7. Respect Goes Both Ways

Doctors work under extreme pressure. But they also owe you their attention and respect. Good communication is a two-way street, and mutual understanding can make a huge difference in your care.

Summary: 

Many patients struggle to communicate effectively with their doctors, often overwhelming them with scattered or irrelevant details, especially in the age of internet self-diagnosis. While doctors may seem interruptive, it's often necessary to stay focused and make timely, accurate decisions. To get the most out of your visit, be clear and concise, share important details (even if awkward), avoid over-Googling, and let your doctor guide the conversation. Ask questions, be honest about your health habits, and remember that respect should go both ways. A good doctor-patient relationship is built on clear, two-way communication.