On the patient-doctor relationship
In medical school, we often discussed the patient-doctor relationship, but never went too deep into the subject. I had many colleagues who were far better at retaining information than me, but I always excelled in talking to patients and in my bedside manner. One of my best qualities was my social intelligence and ability to form good social interactions. Many of my colleagues admired how I was able to assess patients and quite easily start talking to them. Even then, I noticed how many of our patients had incredibly low expectations from medical professionals. This distrust in our medical system came from huge waiting lists, the expenses that come with medical care, and unpleasant experiences when visiting medical offices. Consequently, many patients had a negative outlook on doctors, nurses, and other medical workers. Regardless of my superb bedside manners, I struggled to establish myself as an authority figure, which is a problem many young doctors face early on in their careers. I needed to develop some sort of system of communication for patients that would help me build up authority as a doctor.
Senior doctor system
After some trial and error, I developed my type of communication that allowed me to set up my authority regardless of my inexperience as a doctor. I realized that the most important thing when talking to patients is never to show that you do not have the depth of knowledge about a certain condition. You cannot know everything deeply, but you must never stop learning. Before I started to work at my first workplace as a doctor, I was afraid that I would not know what I was talking about. The great thing about medical school is that you learn a lot about all sorts of medical topics, so when patients ask you about some rare disease (and they certainly will), you at least need to have some idea what they’re talking about. After all, obscure questions are far easier to answer if you know what to search for.
"I realized that the most important thing when talking to patients is never to show that you do not have the depth of knowledge about a certain condition."
Do not be afraid to look things up on Google. While the internet is not the magic bullet that you should implement in your practice, it is one of the most helpful tools younger doctors use. Be careful what websites you use when looking up medical information, since most of them are inaccurate or outdated. The best website that provides accurate yet simple medical information is UpToDate.
One trick I learned is to always have a laptop in front of you so when a patient asks you something, you can quickly search for valuable information. Another caveat is to make your Google searches while continually talking to patients, so they do not feel excluded from the interaction. They might feel like you are looking up information without any knowledge at all. A pro tip is to show your patients’ images or graphs about their condition. That way, you include the patient while also reminding yourself about their condition. Many of them will be grateful that you took the time to explain their problem and not leave them in the dark. If you are unsure about a certain medication dosage, you can explain to the patient that you need to double-check the dosage because you can never be too careful with certain medications.
What helped me build my authority as a young doctor was implementing a balance between authority and professionalism with relaxed posture and some jokes in between.
Patients of today are far more educated on medical conditions than they were ever before. With almost ubiquitous internet access, nearly everyone knows much more about medicine than ever.
You need to know that all sorts of people will enter your medical office. People of all sorts of backgrounds and intentions. Before anything else, you need to be flexible.
When a patient enters your office, you need to be able to assess how relaxed you can be around them. You are a professional, but a good joke allows you to ease the situation. This is especially true if you need to deliver bad news. And as a doctor, you certainly will. Even though you can never be too careful when discussing important matters like your patient’s diagnosis, you can always put a positive spin on it.
Some patients do not joke about their health, ever. And you will learn how to properly talk to them. You can’t be too rigid because people will come to you for explanation AND reassurance.
You can build authority by being serious, but being too serious can be a disadvantage in some cases.
If a patient comes to you to ask you about something, deliver the information without going into many details. Once patients ask you more, you can go a little deeper, and if they are interested in what you have to say, go all in. Don’t spill all of the knowledge at once. This will be useful to you since you will save time, but also to the patient, because most of the time, patients do not need/want to know the details. Talk to them about what matters. This way, you will provide the best guidance and care possible.
All in all, you must be flexible when talking to your patients. Don’t become too arrogant with your knowledge, but also be firm with your decisions. Don’t go into unimportant details, and always strive for excellence in your medical office.
Summary:
In medical school, we often discussed the patient-doctor relationship, but rarely in depth. While many of my classmates were better at memorizing information, I stood out for my bedside manner and ability to connect with patients. My strength was social intelligence—I could easily start conversations and assess patients. Early on, I noticed that many patients had very low expectations of medical professionals, largely due to long wait times, expensive care, and negative past experiences. This widespread distrust made it difficult for me to establish authority as a young doctor.
Through trial and error, I developed my communication style to help build that authority, even without years of experience. I learned never to show uncertainty, even if I didn’t know something offhand. Thanks to medical school, I usually had at least a general understanding of most topics, and when I needed more information, I wasn’t afraid to discreetly look things up, especially using reliable sources like UpToDate. I always kept a laptop in front of me and searched for information while continuing to talk to the patient, sometimes showing them images or graphs to keep them engaged and informed.
I found that balancing authority and professionalism with a relaxed demeanor and occasional humor helped build trust. Patients today are more informed than ever, and flexibility is key—different patients need different approaches. Some appreciate a light tone, especially in tough conversations, while others prefer a more serious approach. I learned to read the room and adapt.
Finally, I discovered that it’s best to deliver information gradually. Don’t overwhelm patients with too much detail unless they ask for it. Start with what matters most, and dive deeper only if they’re interested. This saves time and keeps the conversation focused, allowing me to provide clear, reassuring guidance and care.