Post-graduation depression

Six years have finally passed, 87 exams have passed, and countless hours spent studying medicine passed. Medical school was by far the most challenging part of my life, and all of the stress that comes with it passed. I was tired, emotionally drained, anxious, and depressed. I challenged myself to the maximum and managed to get through it.

Now that I finally become a doctor, I feel… meh?

I feel like I lost my purpose. My brain was wired to study almost constantly for the last six years. If I didn’t study, I would write some research papers or help at the Neurology department at our local hospital. Now that it’s all over, I do not have a certain goal. I mean, I still have my YouTube channel, Instagram, and blog to focus on until I start working as a doctor, but all of these seem less important now that I have the time to do them.

Without any exam deadlines or rush of adrenaline every other day, I lost a part of me that was passionate about my side hustle.

I have about a month and a half until I start working as a doctor, so I try to make myself as productive as I can to launch this blog and my YouTube channel. However, none of these seems high on my priority list in life right now.

I remember when I was in my first and second years of med school, how my colleagues and I celebrated every exam that we passed like it was the biggest thing in the world. Now that real-life grown-up responsibilities wait for me, I feel like every other achievement fades in comparison.

It seems utterly bizarre that I will start my career as a medical doctor in a month and a half, and that I will work that same job for the rest of my adult life. I feel like something big was about to happen once I graduated. Like, some big reward is awaiting me on the other side of medical school. That big reward is getting to work at a job for the next 40 years.

I am not the only one who feels that way.

When I feel lost and try to contemplate these big life decisions, I always go to two sources: my psychiatrist and Reddit.

People all over Reddit share the same vague notion of existential crisis once they finish college/school. Some people handle it better than others, but the same kind of panicky ideas are woven into insights from various people.

One user posted: “Just graduated this semester and I feel SO empty and lonely. I feel like I just lost a huge part of my identity (being a college student) and I feel like I’m mourning the life I used to have. It feels like my life is ending now. The fun, carefree life of being in college is gone.

Now I have to start my big girl job soon (which, don’t get me wrong, I am SO grateful for) and have real responsibilities. I’ll never get to go to another college party again or walk around the beautiful campus again.

I’m sorry if this sounds dramatic, but I am struggling to cope with being done with college. This is a huge life change, and I’m having trouble coming to terms with it.”

The same feeling was shared by another user: “I needed to hear this. I just graduated a few months ago, and I was not at all prepared for what adulthood was like. I wasn’t prepared for how much I’d have to do on my own, and I’m still not fully prepared tbh. It all just feels so bleak right now, and I’ve been feeling a lot of hopelessness, but I’m just trying to jump at any opportunities I can find in the hopes that I can find something that makes me happy (or at least not miserable). Hearing other people talk about their experiences with post-college depression helps me feel like I’m not alone in this, and that it will someday get better.”

Whether because of the job market or financial reasons, or because of the nostalgia for good days on college campuses, many young adults feel this way.

I talked to my psychiatrist recently about the possible change in Zoloft dose since my anxiety and depression got worse in the last 2 months. I was pretty sad and anxious since my grandma passed away, and then the sudden realization that I would enter the workforce soon hit me like a truck. Even though I am somewhat of a workaholic, I suddenly felt like I lost my passion for work and productivity. My psychiatrist, who is well-versed in disorders of adolescence and young adults, said that she wasn’t surprised that I felt that way.

She said that usually around the time of graduation, students without a previous history of any mental disorders come to her with symptoms of extreme anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and breathlessness. She said that it was extremely common for students to feel this way since graduation is a huge part of their life, and in extension, their identity.

So what can we do about it?

If you chose a career with somewhat of a guarantee that you will have a good job after college, then read my favorite response from one Reddit user: “I was feeling that way till I got my first paycheck. Then I realized how much it sucks to be a broke college student. The work is a lot more fun too and me and all my bros still party but now we have some $ in our pocket.”

If you are unsure what will happen after graduation and are afraid for your future, then it is time to accept change. The real reason why we are afraid of graduating is that we are afraid of the change that may impact our lives negatively.

If you are an extroverted person who likes to go out of your comfort zone regularly, think of entering the workforce in the same way. You are taking a huge leap into the unknown and out of your college comfort zone. The same goes when you are moving out of your parents’ house. It may be daunting at first, but we can get used to almost anything. Without this big leap, you are not able to grow as a person.

Graduating from college or school is the same as your everyday out-of-the-comfort-zone experiences, but on a bigger scale.

The same advice goes for introverted people. Every time you go out of your comfort zone, you feel afraid, anxious, etc., but once these feelings pass, you end up in a better place or at least with a unique life experience you wouldn’t get if you stayed inside your house.

You ended a big part of your life, and you’re getting ready for a new chapter. Remember how you felt lost when you started college/med school and how much experience you gained. You didn’t know what awaited you, and you still did it. You survived that, and you will survive this.

"Embrace the change, because the only waste of life is the one in stasis."

TL;DR:

After grinding through six brutal years of med school, graduating and becoming a doctor didn’t bring the big emotional payoff I expected, just emptiness and a loss of purpose. With exams gone, my identity, motivation, and passion (even for side projects) feel shaky, and the reality of working for the next 40 years is intimidating. Turns out this post-graduation existential crisis is extremely common; Reddit, my psychiatrist, and other grads echo the same anxiety, sadness, and identity loss. The core issue isn’t graduation itself, but fear of change. The key takeaway is that this transition is just another massive step out of the comfort zone, uncomfortable, but necessary for growth. I’ve survived big unknowns before, and I’ll survive this one too. Embrace change, because stagnation is the real waste of life.